The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
HOW TO HANDLE DECEIT:
- First, model integrity by working on any deceitful habits you may have yourself.
- Approach deceit with grace but also with firmness.
- Realize that the goal is to teach your teen how to speak with honesty and directness.
- Be mindful of whether you may have put your teen in a no-win situation by making a
- rule that is not a realistic one, so the teen sees no alternative but to lie.
- Communicate clearly that lying will not be tolerated.
- Help him understand that when he lies he damages his relationship with you, and that is not acceptable because you place high value on your relationship.
- Be clear that you love him, that you know that he wants more freedom in his life, but that to give him more freedom you have to be able to trust him.
- Make it clear that there are ways to earn back your trust. You might say that she can go out with her friends but that for now, because of the lying, she has to call you several times while she’s out and that an adult has to get on the line to verify that she is where she said she was going to be.
- Remember: relationship, relationship, relationship. - Dr. John Townsend
- Parenting Today’s Adolescent, Dennis and Barbara Rainey
- Boundaries with Teens, Dr. John Townsend
- Q&A: Lying and Deceitfulness in Teenagers
- Guiding Your Teen Away From the Deceit Trap
- How Well Is Your Child Avoiding the Deceit Trap?